Every minute feels like an hour. Lolo na ako.
I’m happy to feel.
I’m finding myself throwing pebbles at the someone. I forget what words I want to say until I come to my senses. Here I am dreaming again. It’s been a while but the feeling is so familiar and easy to recognize.
My only question is: How is this possible due to the circumstances? Distance? Is this really possible?
Well, as a believer of some supernatural things and a higher power, my answer is ‘yes’. However, I cannot help but be absolutely fascinated by it still happening through all of the ‘circumstances’.
I would never in a millions years cheer for an end to a good connection. But I can recognize toxicity and the needs for an end to something negative. But that’s just what’s going on. I have no control in most of these things but at the same time, I never felt more comfortable.
“Yung honest na honest feeling ko noon…”
9 Oct. 18. 12:48AM. Man. That was intense. My fingers, crossed. My eyes, closed. My ears , patient. Every muscle in my body held on for dear life. At that very moment, your words carried so much weight that they could have crushed me. Instead, they’ve become a foundation that I now stand on. I’m breathless. I’m relieved. My heart goes to all casualties but this time, right now, it isn’t me.
I haven’t felt this way in a long time. When I observe myself, I have mixed feelings of joy and fear. I tip toe the line of changing my entire life to be with someone (needless to say along with the justifications I come up with) and calling myself stupid and emotional for even considering the possibility.
One part of me is extremely excited, invested, and optimistic.
The other: foolish, naive, vulnerable.
One very big part of desiring love is the developing the ability to overcome that part. The ability to be okay with the risk. The ability to evaluate if it’s worth it. You have to be able to think on your feet as life is still happening. You have to not chase perfection or else you’ll for sure lose.
When you feel it, you tend to get confused. It feels like the stakes get higher. You don’t even have a choice on who.
Basta. Go lang. Don’t fear. Have fun.
7 hour bus ride to LA? Time to reflect. *rubs hands together* 👏
So I recently quit my job to travel and reap all the happy benefits of it all. It’s a scary thing to do (some might argue, foolish) but I’m proud to say that I’m starting to see and feel the things that I’ve been longing for years. Here are things I’ve learned from just under a month of traveling that can be applied to everyday life (things I never REALLY learned when working full-time for 5+ years in various positions). Ready go.
- Pack lighter 💼. Get a smaller bag. Anything over 40L will just tempt you to bring more stuff you won’t likely need.
Application: Greed. Know when enough is enough. The more baggage you have, the harder it is on your metaphorical shoulders.
- Learn to love your bag 😍. Assign a job for each pocket of your backpack. Learning to love your bag (for one-bagging especially), is like loving your home.
Application: Get your house in order (a la Dr. Jordan B Peterson). I have an issue with wasting time looking for things and I like myself a little less with each minute doing that.
- Be appropriate with your planning. If not for you, then for others involved, especially if they are helping you with housing and food.
Application: Courtesy and the Golden Rule applies in any point of interaction. I’m guilty of this as I like to just wing it. I learned that it’s almost as bad as being late for a date or forgetting your family member’s birthday. Just because you’re YOLO-ing, doesn’t mean everyone else is. Chances are you’re actually alone in that.
P.S. I apologize for saying “YOLO.”
- Create a budget and stick to it. Sounds really basic I know but for this month long trip, I did not make a budget. It’s been awesome but going to keep it exclusive to this trip… Anyway, it’s not much the budget, it’s about disciplining yourself.
Application: Adulting is hard. You have to make decisions now that actually affect your immediate and distant future. Wow. Who saw that coming, right? Make sure you make it to that sunset on time for a selfie. Make sure that sweet indie restaurant didn’t need reservations before spending resources getting there. In short, not sticking to your budget can waste money AND time. It’s a simple concept, therefore, when you fail at it, there is no worse feeling.
- Traveling alone is awesome. It’s not for everybody but I’ve LOVE the freedom. Just try it. You’re more likely to meet more people and add even more flavor to the trip. I’ve met some awesome people at the hostel in San Francisco and I couldn’t see how it could have gone any other way.
Application: Embrace accountability. Again, adulting is hard……….. but when do embrace it, you learn from mistakes better. Lessons hit harder. Don’t be afraid of shame and don’t be afraid to fail. On the other end,when you do something right, if feels amazing. You have only yourself to thank. With that kind of way of thinking, you shine and it’s typically pretty contagious for those who holds any grasp the empathy skill.
- Perfection while traveling doesn’t exist. Don’t chase it. Be wide open to change and thinking on-the-fly. Many travelers can become anxious from a delayed flight or a missed bus. Others let it ruin their day or their trip. Whenever I find myself in that position, I just take a step back and realize…hey wait, I’m not the center of the universe. Hey wait… WTF… I’m taking a dump on a toilet in the sky with WiFi. I instantly feel better when I consider things like, oh I don’t know, the MIRACLE OF HUMAN FLIGHT. In fact, these days, I don’t even remember the last time I was bothered by anything while traveling. That, itself, brings about even more positivity. I’m a happy boi and there are not enough combinations of letters and virtual keystrokes that will justify those feelings. And I think we tend to fail to realize that we have more control over our state of mind than we think. Okay can I get out of this rabbit hole now?
Application: I tend to suffer from what I call ‘paralysis by analysis’ and it really keeps me from being where I want to be. I always knew this about myself and wanted to change it. But traveling has kind of manifested that concept into something real I can see. It’s a solid accountability reminder. Done is better than perfect.
- Recognize and differentiate need vs greed.
- Get your house in order.
- Golden Rule reminders are good.
- Time, the ultimate resource, handle with care.
- Being alone for a while has proven to be healthy.
- Perfection is a unicorn 🦄, don’t get in your own way.
I haven’t been traveling much yet but learned a lot in my West Coast tour already. The bottom line is, be humble and need less. I plan on applying these tips to my upcoming trip to Europe and the Philippines after that!